Erin
by Heather Goldbug
Summary: MWPP days. Very hard to explain as you don't know Erin. She's a pretty irish witch, a model, she's REALLY pretty. Her 5th year, she's finally allowed to date.
1. Lucius

~Erin~  


  
After a summer of modeling for various expensive, high quality robe companies, Erin was finally back at Hogwarts. She walked into Hogwarts for the start of her fifth year with a very large trunk of money, quality robes, make-up, and more, looking like an Irish doll. Black hair, freckles, and fair skin made every single (and some taken!) boy's head turn. And this year, she was 15, and as her parents promised, she could start steady dating. She was so happy, there were so many fishes in the sea, and she was so sure she could catch them all, as long as she made sure not to do it all at once. She didn't have her eye on one particular guy...not yet. Just as long as she didn't have to date that terrible James Potter or one of his rotten friends...yuck! She thought about Lucius Malfoy, but then remembered her Ravenclaw friends probably would hate her if she dated him. She crossed him off the list that she had in her head. Maybe she'd just wait for someone to come to her. And come to her they did.  
It was a whole two weeks before she actually got asked out, and even then, she said no. I mean, come on, who would ever go out with watery-eyed, rat-nosed, amazingly dumb Peter Pettigrew? Besides, he was friends with James Potter. She couldn't bear thinking about it anymore, so she stopped. He had asked her after class, humiliating himself. He deserved it, too. But she couldn't help but notice Lucius sighing with relief behind his snicker at Peter's disappointment.  
"So, Erin, who do you have your eyes on?" Karen asked her, snapping Erin out of her gaze and back to the real world of...she looked down to see what. Oh, dinner.  
"Um, no one in particular!" She said, squeaking. It was very convincing. Karen just laughed.  
"Come on, you can tell me! I've known you for four years now, there's no hiding anything from me." Karen prodded.  
"If there's no hiding anything, how come you can't tell?" Erin replied, proud of her wits. That's why she was in Ravenclaw, obviously. Her eyes danced with happiness of the defeat of the wits of her friend.   
"Lucius."  
"I beg your pardon?" Erin looked questioningly at her friend. Karen couldn't possibly know who she had been eyeing.  
"I said, Lucius. As in, you know, you've got your eyes on Lucius. I told you there was no hiding anything from me!" Now it was Karen's eyes that danced with the pleasure of defeat. Erin sighed, knowing she didn't really belong in Ravenclaw. If there was a house strictly for looks, that's the oneshe'd be in. But then, she thought bitterly, so would James, according to most of the girls. And Sirius. And Remus. Remus. She tilted her head at the name. It sounds good, she thought. Good name, Remus, I like it. She was awakened from her daydream by a forkful of something stuffed into her mouth.  
"Care for dessert? It's cheesecake!"  
"Oh, yeah! Yum!" She abandoned her thoughts and stuffed herself with dessert, forgetting that she's only had a few bites of actual food.  
  


*****  


  
After dessert, she walked out with Karen, only to find Lucius standing at the door. Great, now he's going to hear everything Karen decides to tell. Which is usually everything. But before Karen could say anything, Lucius spoke.  
"Hello, Erin." Erin hadn't even guessed he knew her name. "Want to talk with me?"  
"Um..." I said, acting like the shy girl I wasn't. "I guess."  
"Alone? Somewhere private?" He looked pointedly at Karen, who pointed to the way to our common room, raised her eyebrows at me, and walked off.  
"Uh, where? Where in Hogwarts is private?" I honestly didn't think there was any place private here, except my dormitory...which was not only in the Ravenclaw common room, but the girls' dormitory. Lucius grinned.  
"Prefects bathroom. I'm a prefect, remember?"  
"Oh yeah..." I wished I had been picked as Ravenclaw's prefect. Karen had. I forgave her though, I mean, she's amazing. Like earlier, she read my mind (or maybe she just followed my eyes), and she does amazing things like that all the time. And she's such a good friend, she only deserves the honor. When voting, I voted for her (as did 90% of all the Ravenclaws) and she voted for...guess who. Not herself! She voted for me. Now _that's_ an honor. I finally woke up from my thoughts and realized that Lucius was holding my hand and walking me down the hall. I was overjoyed.  
"Grindylow" Lucius said, in a soft voice. He led me in, and as I stared at the room, he started into my eyes. He must have closed the door, because by the time I was done looking, it was no longer open. I was looking at their enormous bathtub, and wondered what the knobs did. When I asked, he told me they made beautiful bubbles of different types. If Lucius wasn't there, I would hop right in, and try them all out. But since he was there...I realized I was lost in thought once more. That's just how I am. I'm always daydreaming. Try getting me to listen in class, it's not fun, just ask Karen if you don't believe me.  
"You're looking at the bathtub." Lucius said, then blushed, probably realizing how stupid it sounded. Maybe he was as smitten with me as I was with him. Maybe we'd date for months, maybe we'd even get married. I realized I wanted to kiss him. His lips pressed against mine, it just sounded like that would be the best thing imaginable. I stared at his lips, imagining what it would be like to kiss him. And here I am, daydreaming again. Will I ever stop?  
The whole time, he has still been watching my eyes with interest. Suddenly he leaned over and kissed me. I realized how awkward it was to have my eyes open, so I closed them. I never wanted it to stop, it just felt so good. But then, when I could no longer breathe, I wanted it to stop, which it did...for a few seconds. Lips locked once more, I couldn't imagine anything better than to marry him. He enchanted me. He was...wonderful.  
  
A/N: This whole fic will not be an Erin/Lucius fic, it's going to go into a lot of deep issues.  
  
~Peace, parentheses, and popcorn, Heather~


	2. Depression

~Erin, Chapter 2~  


  
It was History of Magic, the best napping class ever, only I couldn't nap. I was thinking about Lucius. And having class with the Slytherins now proved to be a distraction, because I could only look at Lucius. I saw something very strange, Lucius was awake, then he woke up the person next to him, who reluctantly woke up the person next to him, and on down the line until then person next to me (Karen) was awake. She winked and passed me a note. It said my name on it, so after staring at the beautifully written "Erin Finnigan", I opened it.  
_Dearest Erin,  
I cannot explain how wonderful it is to know that my love for you is returned. Please meet me in the prefect's bathroom at 5:30._  
My heart floated.  
The day prodded on until, finally, it was 5:30. I was already outside the prefect's bathroom, and went right in. What I saw somewhat scared me. The bathtub was filled with bubbles, and with...er...Lucius. He beckoned me over. After hesitating for about 5 minutes, I finally went over to where he was, took off my shoes and socks, rolled up my pants, and dipped my feet in.  
"So...what are we doing here?"  
"Come in the tub" Was all he said. I looked at him wide eyed. I barely knew him, what was he thinking? He expected me to...take off my clothes? Whoa, I guess I misjudged this guy...well, maybe not, maybe he didn't mean that. Maybe when I said no, he'd respect that. And so I did.  
"No."  
"What do you mean, no?" He looked like he was getting angry, so I decided maybe I should obey him. Although I didn't want to, who would ever know, right?  
"Promise not to look while until I say so?"  
"All right." He closed his eyes. I rubbed my eyes, wondering how I'd gotten into this mess. But I did love him, and I wantedd him happy, so I obidiently removed my clothes and got intothe tub.  
"I'm in." He looked at me and smiled. I didn't know why he wanted me in here, and I realized I had made the wrong choice. I didn't know what to do though, I couldn't get out because his eyes were open. It was better to be hidden under the bubbles. Or not...he walked over to me and put my face in his hands. He started touching me in places he shouldn't have. I decided that all this cowardly behaviour of mine waws just stupid, and...  
"STOP! I don't want you to do that to me." HE looked at my face, and continued. Right then I realized he didn't love me. In fact, he didn't even care about me. So what if his eyes were open? He was sure to go much farther than this, and I'd rather him see me naked for a few seconds than...than whatever the other choice was. I jumped out of the tub, grabbed my clothes, and ran to a stall. After dressing, I left the bathroom and vowed never to think about Lucius and me again. I thought he cared about me, but I was wrong.   
It was hard not to think about kissing Lucius, or being with him. I was only 15 though, and he was not good for me. I had dumped him slently, and I was'nt talking to anyone. I needed to express my feelings to someone, but I just...couldn't. Karen asked me several times what was wrong, but I just brushed her off. I was beginning to act...horrible. I felt horrible. I hated myself. Look at me, I can't even get a guy that truly love me. I can only get one that uses me because I'm pretty. Everyone says I was blessed with beauty, but I'm convinced now that it was a curse. HE just wanted to use me. I must not be very interesting...just beautiful. I guess I don't have a good personality. I guess all I have is looks.   
I began to eat a lot to try to feel the empty feeling dumping Lucius had left me with. I began to get fat, and then I hated myself even more. I couldn't even look pretty anymore, why bothor living? Yes, why bother living? I just sat on my bed and cried. I shouldn't be alive right now, I'm no good. I broke Lucius' heart, made him sad, I'm useless...I can't do anything right. I don't deserve to live. You know, I really don't, maybe I should just die, right now. I lay down very still, hoping that I would die. I didn't. I wondered if I could just stop breathing, so I tried it, but it didn't work. I then remembered that I was supposed to be in History of Magic, but it didn't matter, I would just see Lucius and break down crying. I hated everything, mostly myself. I thought of suicide, but then I realized I could never do that.  
"Might as well try" I whispered to myself, though I didn't need to whisper, because everyone else was in classes. The problem was, I had nothing to kill myself with. So there I sat on my bed, lonely, unhappy, miserable, depressed, and no way to die. I sat there with the wind from the open window blowing on my face. That used to make me happy, to have wind against my face. I used to love nature, but nothing was fun anymore. Karen had opened the window before she left for class, when I said I'd be a little late, to see if the wind could make me happy. It obviously didn't work. I was angry at myself for not keeping Lucius. I was angry at Lucius for trying to use me. I was angry at the wind and the window for not making me feel at peace. I was angry for not finding a way to die. Mostly, I was mad at the wind and window, I stared at the window, as if that might make me feel better. Then it came to me: the window was open, and i want to commit suicide. I could simply jump out of it. I thought about just jumping, but then people would look for me all over Hogwarts, and everywhere outside of it. I decided I should probably leave something behind so they'd know I was just dead. I quickly scrawled a note to Karen  
_Dear Karen,  
Look out the window._  
And that was my note. I sat on my window, thinking about what I was doing. And then --  
  
Disclaimer: This is for all chapters of this story: Everyone from the Potter books are J.K Rowlings, etc. and everyone you've never heard of, such as Erin and Karen, are mine.


	3. The Boy in the Window

*~Erin, Chapter 3~*  
  
A/N: Well, my third chapter. I write a little almost every day now, so that's good!  
  
"Why, hello." I looked behind me to see who had spoken. There was no one. I decided I must be imagining things, and went back to getting ready to jump. Looking down at where I would lay dead, I realized there was someone there already. So that's who spoke!  
"Who are you?" I asked the boy beneath me. After a few silent seconds, he decided to answer me.  
"Who do you want it to be?"  
"Oh, don't ask me! I just want to be alone!"  
"And why is that? Nobody wants to be alone. Why, alone is the place where all those bad thoughts creep into your head, like worms, and your brain deteriorates, and you become a mindless insane person suffering from depression." I was amazed at his words. He knew how I was feeling. Suddenly, I didn't feel so alone. Maybe it was because I wasn't, because there was someone with me, despite the distance, he was with me. I just wish we were closer, so I could get a good look, and maybe recognize him. All I could see was that he was long -- he was lying down on the grass, making it look very inviting, and he had light brown hair. I cocked my head at him and smiled, though I'm not sure he could see it from so far away.  
"You're not in class." I said, stupidly.  
"You're not either."  
"Well, I'm on my way!" I said, now okay enough (and disturbed that I couldn't jump out of the window, because he was there making me think about it) to go off to class. I turned from the window, grabbed my book, and was about to head out my door when my heart gave a jump. I wanted to see him again. I shouted a "Come back sometime!" out the window at him, then went to class, happy, yet disturbed that he'd found my way into my heart so soon after I'd just been through a heartbreak. I was met just outside the common room by Karen.  
"Class is over, glad you decided to join us." She said coldly. I wanted to cry. How could she be so mean? I threw my books inside the common room as she went in, and continued walking, down through the halls, outside. I had to find the boy. I walked around the side of the castle, hoping to find the window of my dormitory. There were many open windows, but I found the tree that I knew so well right to the left of mine, and knew where my dormitory was. The boy was gone. I just sat underneath my window, near the tree, and wondered if he would do as I asked, and come back, and if so, when?  
After sitting under the tree for hours, I decided he probably wasn't coming back soon, and I should probably go eat something. Then I remembered Karen, and how bad she had made me feel. It set me back into my mad-at-the-world-and-myself mood, and I walked into the castle with a frown on my face. James Potter and his crew, including the revolting Peter Pettigrew (who looks like a sewer rat) walked up to me as I walked in to dinner. How absurd. I ignored them and slinked away -- or at least, I tried to.  
"Hi, Erin!" Said Remus. I was disturbed.  
"I'm hungry." I replied coldly. I didn't want them near me!  
"Oh, me too! Lets eat!" Remus said as he dragged me by the arm to the Gryffindor table. I was apalled at his rudeness. I really was hungry, so I stuffed a meat pie into my mouth and tried to get up to go to my table, but suddenly, the main course was over (I had been late) and dessert was served. I had to have some before it was all gone, because it was everyone's favorite: hot pumpkin cookies! I grabed an armful and started stuffing them in my mouth. Unfortunately, with a whole armful, I could not walk very fast and was back in my seat (escorted rudely by Remus) in a matter of seconds. I sat there and meekly ate my cookies, realizing that I couldn't get away until I was done eating.  
After I finished eating, I raced up to my common room, not stopping until I was safely inside, protected by a password. Good thing I'm a fast runner, so I can outrun psychos like Remus! I didn't want to be around any of my fellow Ravenclaws, because as far as I knew, they were all mad at me for skipping class, so I went to my dormitory. Inside, I found Karen. I felt like my world was falling apart, and I wanted to be alone, or with The Boy At The Window. I then sat on my bed and looked at Karen's which was empty. I saw the note I had written before attempting suicide, "Look out the window" and indeed, she was doing just that. She was, in fact, staring out of it.  
"Karen..." She looked at me from the window. "what are you looking out the window for?" Now that I'd said it, it sounded like and incredibly stupid question.  
"A boy." She said calmly, then went back to looking out the window. My heart raced as I thought about the boy in the window. Is it the same boy? I wondered. There was only one way to find out, so I pushed Karen out of the way, and with a mumbled apology, took her former seat. I looked down. I saw a long body, just like before, and the same color hair. I was pretty sure it was him, since he lay in the same stretched out position as before.  
"Did you talk to her?" I said, almost angrily. Which was probably stupid, because I couldn't be in love again so soon. After all, I had just gotten out of it, so what should I care if Karen had been talking to this boy? I did not own this boy. But somehow, I was protective of him already.  
"Nope." I sighed with relief at his words. I shouldn't even have been worried. No wonder she had been staring at him like a zombie. They were both there and he hadn't said a word. I wondered if he knew who I was. I certainly didn't know who he was, and maybe he didn't know he was, but simply sat and watched this lunatic who was sitting in her window and didn't even notice him. That was possible. I had a huge urge to sing, but I didn't know what to sing, and so I didn't.I felt like we didn't even have to talk. I knew he understood me, probably even when I didn't say anything. Which could be bad, since I was...I won't say it. I am not in love with him. He laughed at me, and I hadn't even said anything! I must have looked pretty funny.  
  


*****  


  
I must have fallen asleep, and I must hve gotten into bed somehow, because there I was, I had just woke up, and I was in bed. So that must have been a dream, where I fell out the window and he caught me and took me on a broom to live in a tree...well, come to think of it, that doesn't even sound half as romantic as it did when I was asleep. I refreshed myself, got dressed, put on some makeup and curled my bangs and was down to breakfast. I suddenly remembered what Remus had done to me the night before, at dinner, and thought about skipping breakfast, but my stomache refused to let me do that. I walked in, and, to my relief, I was early, and Remus was not there yet. I took a seat at the Ravenclaw table, and was actually gladd to see all the people from my house, however dumb they made me look in class. I don't know why I'm in Ravenclaw, probably because I don't really qualify for any house. I'm not hard working, because I'm always day dreaming. I'm not too brave, so cross off Gryffindor. I'm definitely not fit to be in Slytherin, I mean, Slytherin has turned out some of the most evil wizards of all time, and the only time I would have considered it was while I was in love with ...Malfoy. Ugh. I can't even say his name without wanting to barf.  
  
Peace, parenteses, and popcorn,   
Heather Goldbug AKA Becca bug AKA Beccers...etc.


	4. "You didn't know?"

*~Erin, Chapter 4~*  


  
  
While munching a cheese danish, I sensed something behind me. I thought to myself "_Just as long as it isn't Remus_" just in time to turn around and see that it was. What luck. His eyes sparkled.   
"How is your day going to be?" He asked me, the little devil. How should I know? Well, I could just be as mean as possible, so I was.  
"It might be okay if you LEAVE ME ALONE!" I growled fiercely, hoping he got the point. What's his problem, can't he see I hate his guts?  
"PMS? Sorry, Erin." Is all he said as he walked away. I rolled my eyes at him, but he wasn't looking, so I don't know why I bothered.   
Classes were, as usual, horrible. I spent my day in class daydreaming about The Boy At The Window and ended up losing 15 house points. I absently combed my fingers through my long black hair, wondering who The Boy was.   
Since I had eaten breakfast, I skipped lunch. I guess because I'm still...depressed, even though I can look forward to seeing The Boy At The Window. I didn't need to be fat so instead of eating too much, I decided to eat much less. He doesn't need to know I skipped lunch, I doubt he noticed, and I'm sure not going to tell him!  
I got to my dorm during lunch only to find a note from none other than Remus. It might have been a nice note if it wasn't from him, but it was, and so it just made me roll my eyes and not even bother to pick it up. All it said was this:  
__Dear Erin,  
I am sorry you are having a bad day. Hope you feel better tomorrow.  
Remus  
And, of course, The Window Boy was not in the window. Oh well, he was probably at lunch, so it shouldn't be a very big disappointment.   
I glanced over at the note Remus had left. You know, his handwriting is not half bad, and with all his sweetness, I was almost beginning to think that maybe _he_ wasn't half bad...almost. But not completely. I wasn't giving in to Remus this easily.  
I was angry at myself for thinking good thoughts (or almost good, anyway) about Remus, but I didn't know how to punish myself. I guess I already had, I mean, I skipped lunch, right? Then again, I could skip dinner as well. But before I could plan on my punishment, I realized I had daydreamed too much, and it was time for Herbology. Herbology. Herbology with Slytherin. With Malfoy. Ugh. I was thinking about barfing and therefore having an excuse to leave class, but I thought it would probably get around to Remus and then I would be showered with get well cards from someone I loathe. Too high a price just to skip a class with Malfoy. I decided to stick it out.  
After Herbology, I sat at my window, hoping _he_ would come. I had to glance down every few minutes, because I guessed that when he came, he came silently, and didn't talk unless I looked at him. He wasn't there, and he never came that night. When Karen finally told me I HAD to go to bed, I realized that if he came, it would be too dark to see him anyway, and so I went to bed.  
  
The next morning I skipped breakfast. I was depressed and so I decided not to eat until I felt better. I was angry with The Boy At The Window for not seeing me yesterday at all, and I just didn't know how I was going to live through another day. Boys...ugh, they're killing me. Driving me absolutely insane.  
At lunch, I was feeling weak, and Karen was noticing that I wasn't eating at all, and so she dragged me into lunch (despite my protests) and stuffed some food down my throat. I finally relented and ate an apple. Remus came over, but I ran out of the room to avoid him. I was so sick of Remus I was going to cry if I saw him. But then again, I was going to cry no matter what, just because I couldn't help it, so I did, once I got to our common room.  
After I was done crying, I kneeled behind the open window, feeling the cool air on my face. It felt so soothing. So amazing. So refreshing. I loved it. I looked down at the grass, and, to my surprise, The Boy was there, and not stretched out on the grass. He was sitting down like a normal person.  
"Hello." I said.  
"Hello." Suddenly thoughts raced through my mind. Thoughts of Remus. He sounded like Remus. He _was_ Remus! I burst into tears at the thought of that boy being Remus, for no apparent reason. I wiped my eyes, sat up straight, and said probably some of the dumbest words of my life.  
"You're Remus?"  
"You didn't know?" As he said this, I suddenly realized how stupid I sounded. He knew who I was the entire time, thought I knew who he was, and yet I'd just figured out I was constantly looking forward to Remus in the window, but not at meals. No wonder he was dragging me around like he thought I liked him...  
The next day, I admitted to being in love with Remus. I only told Karen and Remus, but I think the whole school knew in less than two days. Even teachers would always ask me about whether we were together or hated each other, because of the sudden change. They thought at first that it was a rumor, as did everyone, but I confirmed it was true, and my life became the school soap opera. Not that I minded, as long as I had Remus, I was happy.  
  


*****  


  
After a year loving, kissing, and dating Remus, and a summer of love letters, it was time to go back to Hogwarts. I was so happy to be going back, to be seeing Remus again, to be able to say "I love you" again. Looking back, we dated nearly every Friday, with the exception of a few. Those Friday's were horrible, because he said he needed to buy me something, and I always wondered why he didn't ever take me, though he brushed it off with a simple "It's a surprise!". I got loads of gifts from him, magical flowers, hair accessories, glitter, magic mirrors, and lots more. I was always pleased with the gifts he bought, but I wished we could have spent the night together, rather than receive a gift.  
We rode in the same car all the way to Hogwarts, ate candy together, and talked the entire time. I don't even know who was with us, because I wasn't really paying attention to anything or anyone but Remus.   
  
Heather~*~Rebecca


	5. Meghan

*~Erin, Chapter 5~*  


  
As soon as I got to Hogwarts, I realized there would be no keeping certain boys out of a girl's dormitory and vice versa. I sat through the sorting hat ceremony, in which several people joined our house, including a perfect looking platinum haired girl named Meghan. She seemed very sweet, though maybe a little too beautiful to be popular with the other girls, who all slid silently away from her. We were joined by many others, as well, but I didn't get to know them all. Nor did I need to, after all, I'd only be with them this year and next. But something about Meghan made me feel sorry for her, to want to be friends with her. I made up my mind to make an effort to be nice to the little pearl of a child.  
The next morning I went to breakfast early. I made up my mind to go to every meal no matter how I was feeling when I started dating Remus -- it was worth going just to see him. And so I guess I kind of gave up my eating disorder that I had sort of developed, though I had tried to pretend I didn't have a problem. I sat next to little Meghan, saving the seat on my other side for Remus. I wondered if Meghan would be just like I was as a first year. I hoped she didn't get all the verbal beatings by older girls, just because all the boys would stare at her, as they did me.  
My thoughts were interrupted by a soft "Hi". I realized it came from Meghan. After thinking about how cute she sounded, and how I just wanted her for a sister, I realized I needed to reply.  
"Hi! How are you?" I said quite cheerfully, considering it was six in the morning. I examined her perfectly formed face and wondered if she, too, was a model.  
"You're quite nice." She said. I just wanted to hug her and say "You're so sweet!!!" and squeeze her and tell her she'll love Hogwarts, but I figured it would scare her, so I just smiled and thanked her. It was then that Remus came in.  
"Hello, my sweet love!" He said and smiled. I smiled back, and he handed something to me. "Got you a present the other day, but I forgot to give it to you yesterday." he said, as he handed me a wrapped gift. I don't think there could ever be a sweeter boy. I unwrapped it and found a beautiful diamond necklace in it and quickly put it on. Hugged him and thanked him for it and then remembered to introduce him to Meghan.  
Meghan, this is my boyfriend, Remus. Remus, say hi to Meghan. She's a new Ravenclaw." Remus looked at her for several seconds and finally came up with something to say.  
"Is Ravenclaw the house for brains or models?" He said and sat down (finally!) and held my hand. I messed up his hair and grinned at him.   
"I love you, Remus. I don't think anything could ever keep us apart."  
"Good." he said, grinning. I'd never seen Remus cry over nothing, but suddenly a few tears escaped his face. I was surprised, but tried not to show it. I just kissed him on the cheek and squeezed his hand, knowing he'd be okay in a few seconds, which he was. Meghan looked at us like we were some kind of romance novel, and I suppose, in a way, we were, to Hogwarts. I think that if we split up that we wouldn't be the only ones crying, in fact, the professors would probably cancel classes just so everyone could cry about how we were so perfect together. Maybe I am exaggerating a bit, but then again, maybe not.  
Meghan and I hung out a lot. I found out that in fact Meghan was _not_ a model, but she was very interested in becoming one. I promised to take her with me some places this summer to see if she could get some jobs (and I was sure she could!), which delighted her. She was such a fun friend, and soon we became best friends. The only time we weren't together was when I was dating Remus. Meghan had to be the only person I loved more than Remus, but I loved them both, Remus as a friend and boyfriend, and Meghan as a best friend. I knew we'd be best friends for life, or at least I was hoping.  


  
*****  


  
"About that Yule ball, you'll go with me, right?"  
"Of course, Remus! I wouldn't go with anyone else. You know that!" Remus grinned at this.  
"Yeah, I guess I knew." I knew I was going with him even if he didn't ask, I don't know why he's always so unsure of us. Maybe he's been hurt by other girls, and can't believe this is really love. Meghan was a little disappointed that first years couldn't go unless asked, but she got over it quickly when Peter Pettigrew asked her, and she decided maybe she didn't really need to go after all. When she told me this I must have laughed for three days straight, because of when Peter asked me out. I was looking forward to the Yule ball with every bit of me that I had, and it was only one week away now. Once, in the halls, I was babbling to Remus about how excited I was, and asked if he, too, was excited.  
"Erin, I'm really sorry about this, but I'm not going to be able to go. I want to more than anything in the world, and I love you with all my heart, but I really can't go."  
"What?!" I exclaimed. This hurt me so much, I could not believe he couldn't go. Even if I had been able to find a new date, I wouldn't have gone with them. No matter, I'd go anyway, just without a partner. "Remus...why?" I put my arm around his waist and he started crying. I didn't know why he did this, but I didn't mind it. I loved him, and that was all that mattered.  
"Erin, I'm...I can't!" he practically shouted, then took a deep breath and cried some more. "Because, because I won't be here."  
"Oh really, and where might you be? You won't be at Hogwarts for the ball?"  
"Erin, I..." he cut off his sentence. He couldn't explain himself. I hugged him and went to my dormitory to cry about it, and Karen tried talking to me.  
"Erin, what happened to you? All of a sudden you've like, forgot about me. You're always with Meghan, or Remus. And why are you crying?" This just made me cry more. In befriending Meghan, I'd forgotten my old best friend completely. I'd forgotten that I'd been best friends with Karen since we met, several years ago. And I didn't even want to think about not going to the ball with Remus. Why wasn't he going to be here? He was always here!  
"Karen!" I sobbed. I couldn't say anything for about five minutes and then finally the whole story came pouring out of me. About how Remus wouldn't be here, that I was in love with him. About Meghan, she was so pretty that all the girls hated her, except me, because I knew what it was like. How I was so sorry, but if it weren't for Karen, I don't know what I would have done, and Meghan didn't have anyone like Karen. No first years sweet enough to want to be her best friend. I hugged, cried, and promised we'd all hang out together, instead of shutting Karen out. Karen nodded and said she understood, but just couldn't believe that I had forgotten her.   
"I was just so excited, a new friend, my boyfriend, being in love, it's so exciting. I didn't mean to forget about you!" At this point she explained to me that maybe that's how Remus forgot he couldn't go to the ball, maybe he was just so excited, that he wasn't thinking.  
I had a miserable time at the Yule ball. Remus wasn't there, and neither were any of his best friends, which included Peter. Maybe they'd had a boys night out, or something. I ended up asking Karen to leave her date (the Hufflepuff prefect) which she gladly did, since they didn't get along, and we went up to hang out with Meghan. I figured, if we couldn't have fun because of the boys night out, then we could at least have a girls night out and try. We did have fun, we did each others nails and stuff. But I still couldn't help but be sad that Remus couldn't be at the dance.  
  


*****  


  
"I'm so sorry I couldn't be there! I hope you're not mad. If you are, I understand, that was pretty rotten of me. I couldn't help it, though. I'm so sorry!"  
"Oh, Remus, I love you so much! You're so cute, and of course I forgive you! I don't think anything could ever make me not love you!" I forgave him completely for not coming to the dance. I love him so much, I don't know how to describe it. He's so wonderful!  
"I will never stop loving you, Erin." he said solemly. I tossed my hair back and hugged and kissed him. I was so happy to see him,and even though he'd only been gone for a night, I had missed him. No, I don't normally see him at night, but he left after dinner and didn't come back until late this morning. He hugged me back weakly, and I wondered if he'd stayed up late. I didn't know what was wrong, but maybe he hada sick family member and had to visit whenever he or she was maybe dying. I didn't know, because I'd never had a death in the family and wasn't quite sure how that worked, if they pulled you out of school on certain nights to go visit your sick relative. But whatever it was, I was just happy he was back. Then a terrible thought struck my head.  
"Remus, are you okay? I mean, sometimes you have to leave. Are you like, very ill? And sometimes you need to leave, go to some place where they can take care of you? Though I don't know why you'd need to leave Hogwarts, there's always the hospital wing. My heart was beating fast. I didn't want him to die, but then again, he hadn't said anyhting about that yet.  
"Well, sort of yes, and sort of no. Do you want to go out to eat or something?" I jumped at the opportunity to be with him. We took the way to Hogsmeade from the old statue the opened up and led to the path, just as we had many times before. We talked for hours, and finally went back to Hogwarts.  
"So, are you going home for the holidays? I never noticed if you did or not before, because this is our first Christmas together." I asked him, curious.   
"Oh, I'm definitely staying here. I always do. It's easier on my parents." I suddenly felt an extreme sorrow for him. Did his parents not want him around? I loved him, how could they not? He seemed to be so open to me about most things, but there were just a few things you couldn't get Remus to talk about, no matter what. I decided this must be one of the things, that his parents don't want him around, so I decided not to pester him about it. It's best to leave his sensitive spots alone.  
I went to my room and wrote a letter to my parents, telling them I didn't really want to go home for the holidays. As usual, I told them I loved them, but that I needed to keep Remus company. I told them not to worry, of course I was coming home for the summer, I had a job, after all.  
  


*****  


  
"Bye, Karen! Bye, Meghan!" We hugged and then I turned to Remus.  
"Goodbye, Remus! I love you!" I hugged him as tears fell from my eyes.  
"Oh, Erin, I'll always love you!" I knew this was more than most relationships were. Ours was so different...I knew he really meant it.  
"Well, my mum is waiting for me. And you know, I really have to go home, because I didn't go home over holiday break."  
"Well, yes, and I have to go the -- for that reason, yes, too." As he said this, his voice cracked. He was so cute when he got emotional! I kissed him goodbye one last time and finally went off to my parents for another summer without Remus.   
  
A/N: Well, there you have it! It's not over! Some of you, I think, thought it was over last part. I just have to get them through their last year at Hogwarts, and then I have the entire end finished in my head, I'll just write it down.   
  
Peace, popcorn, and parentheses,   


*****Heather*  



	6. So Skinny

*~Erin, Chapter 6~*  
by Heather Rebecca "Goldbug"  


  
I groaned. It just was so hard to even get out of bed when there was no Remus. I couldn't look forward to seeing him at breakfast, because he wouldn't be there. How horrible. I rolled out of bed, threw my hair up in an unidentifiable hairdo, and put on something that came from my dresser. I didn't have to start modeling for another week, so I definitely wasn't getting all dolled up. I just walked slowly to breakfast. My first breakfast at home for the summer, I could not stand it. I missed Remus terribly. I didn't care what we were eating, I just wanted Remus there with me. I wanted to kiss him, hold his hand, and hug him. To sit next to him, talk to him, and just love him in general. I ate a tiny bit, but then started feeling sick, probably because I missed Remus so much. I couldn't eat another bite, so I wandered off to my room and got back in bed.  
"Erin, get up! It's lunch time!" I rolled over in my bed and tried not to hear my mother. "Erin! Come here!" I ignored her. I wasn't getting up for something I wouldn't be able to eat.  
"Mum, I feel sick. I'm just going to skip it, okay? I'll be better sometime."  
"Okay, do you need anything? A glass of water?"  
"Mum, I'll be FINE! Just let me sleep." And so she did.  
  
I yawned. I glanced at the clock to see what time it was. Midnight! Whoa! I'd slept so long, and hadn't eaten hardly anything today. But it didn't matter. All that mattered was that Remus wasn't here. Then I remembered that Karen and Meghan were also not with me, and I missed them too. It was all so sad, that I just burst out crying, yes, at midnight. At least nobody would hear me. I decided I needed to write some letters. Boy, would they think I'm silly for missing them all so badly so soon. Only my second night at home, and I'm crying because I miss them so bad. Wow. I took out some stationary and composed a letter first to Remus, because I missed him the most.  
_Dearest Remus,   
I miss you so much. I can't even describe it to you. I don't know how to live without you. I can't even eat without missing you too much, because I'm not sitting next to you, and I always used to sit next to you. Boy, I guess I can't handle changes._  
I went on to tell him everything I could think of, and finished finally after I wrote almost everything I knew. It must have been the world's longest letter ever written. I set it on the table so that I could write the other letters. After writing letters to my two best female friends, I strapped them all (had quite a hard time strapping on Remus' thick bundle of a letter) on to our family owl's leg, and told it to go. I probably could have worded it more elegantly, but it being an owl, I didn't care. I looked out the window. It was a full moon. I just wanted to go outside and catch the moonbeams, but I wasn't allowed out on full moon nights. It was stupid, they locked me in like an animal. Very stupid. I loved the moon, and I want to sit in a tree with the moonlight softly beaming on the night world around me. But of course, I couldn't.   
Eventually, I went to sleep, and eventually, I woke up again, still unable to eat anything. My mom was getting worried, but I told her I would be fine. Mom then had to go to work, but promised she'd go grocery shopping before she came home just in case anything she brought home was appetizing. I groaned but said okay. She told me where everything was, in case it changed over the year (which it hadn't) and told me I could have anything I wanted for lunch. She must have been really worried, because she left money for pizza or anything else I wanted to eat by the phone along with the nearest pizza place's number. I sighed and trudged back to bed.   
_Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap..._  
I awoke to my owl tapping on my window. I rubbed my eyes, opened the window, and practically tripped my owl to get the letter off. I was so excited when I read Remus' handwriting that I nearly fell off my bed. I started talking to my owl. I went absolutely crazy. And then I decided to read the letter.  
_Dear Erin,  
I am very tired. I was up all night last night. I read you letter it was great I am so tired oh I will write later bye. Good night or morning whatever it is.  
Remus_  
I giggled and scribbled him another note. I told him how silly it was of him to stay up all night, and how I missed him so, and how I just wanted to see him. I asked him if we could meet during the summer, and then I strapped it on my owl and let it go get refreshed and then sent it out my window.  
I realized, suddenly, that I wasn't just not hungry. I couldn't have been sick to my stomach for the past three days. I had an eating disorder, and I had no idea what to do about it. As I liked to do with my problems often, I put it in the back of my head and went outside to enjoy nature. I kept noticing things I'd never noticed before, a little food market, fruit trees, old ladies were eating food, everything was food. I resorted to cloud gazing and realized that it was no use, the clouds looked like ice cream cones and such. I needed to go get some food. After stuffing myself with pizza, I felt completely guilty and stuck my hand down my throat to see if I could get rid of it. There it went, down my toilet. I was satisfied. I took a shower and went to bed, now happy that I hadn't actually eaten all those sweets and things that I tried to eat. I wasn't fat, but I was getting skinnier, and that's every girl's dream, right?  
"Erin, you're so thin! Wow! You'll look great in this robe. Try it on. Oh, and it's great to have you back on the job!" I was happy to be back there, too. I would enjoy the money, plus I liked my jobs, they were always fun. I loved modeling. I loved every bit of it. I especially loved that it took my mind of food, Remus, and my other friends.   
"Thanks, I'll go put it on! I'm glad to be back!" I put the robe on and gazed at myself in the mirror for a bit. I was skinny, it was wonderful. I looked so nice in this robe, I needed it, I loved it. I had to buy it. I would, too. I walked back, almost flying, I was so happy. Every time they offered a lunch break I declined, but finally they forced me to go.  
"Erin, go eat. NOW!" I did as I was told, but just a little bit. I got a fat free muffin and had half of it, then saved the rest for later, if I wanted it. It probably wouldn't affect my weight, and I _did_ have to eat a _little_ bit to stay alive, you know? I brushed my teeth (yes, I carry around a travel toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse) and went back to my job. I felt like I had just eaten a big meal, probably because I ate so little most of the time that I was just used to it. I was okay though, and focused my thoughts on modeling once again.  
  


*****  


  
_Dear Remus,  
I know this is going to sound terrible, but over the past several weeks I have gotten severely deep into an eating disorder. I don't eat when I'm alone, and when there's people asking me to eat, I'll eat, but turn right around and throw it up. I only feel okay about eat a half of a fat free muffin every so often. It sounds so bad when I'm saying it to you, but it makes me feel so powerful and I don't think I want to stop. Besides, I am really skinny, and I've always wanted to be really skinny.   
Love,  
Erin_  
It really felt nice to get it all off my chest, but I still didn't want to stop. I sent off our owl with the letter and hoped Remus wouldn't be mad. I sighed at how stupid I'd been and wished things never would have changed, that I'd always just been at Hogwarts and never have left Remus for so long. I couldn't wait for school to start again, and wouldn't have to for much longer, only three weeks more.  
  


*****  


  
Here I was, at King's Cross Station, saying goodbye to my parents as I went to Platform 9 3/4 for my final year at Hogwarts. I might never see Remus again, after this. Thinking about it, it was just sad. Meghan woul be going for 5 more years after this, and I would just be wandering around modeling robes all the time. _Well, at least I have Remus all year_, I thought, and went through the wall to the train.  
"REMUS!" I squealed as soon as I saw him. "You beat me here! I love you!" I hugged him and practically chocked him with all my affection.  
"Erin, I will never stop loving you." I waas so happy at this statement, I just wanted to sing,but I couldn't find the words to sing, so I remained silent. Soon we were joined by Karen, Meghan, Sirius, James, and (gross!) Peter. We were a bit crowded, but not that bad. James, Sirius, and Peter sat across from the rest of us, occasionally cracking jokes about "the lovers". The witch who sold sweets came by, and Peter bought everything he could afford. I bought just a few things for my friends, because I simply couldn't eat something so fattening as any of those things. When Remus offered me a sweet and I refused, he gave me a serious look and I almost yelped. Was he mad at me?  
"I'm sorry!" I burst out, almost crying.  
"Why are you making such a big deal out of chocolate?" Sirius asked, utterly confused. Truthfully, I wasn't sure why either, maybe because I wanted him happy, and for some reaason, he wasn't. Maybe it was because I was hungry, or because I hadn't had sweets in such a long time. Remus pulled a letter out of his pocket and handed it to me. I recognized it as the letter I had written three weeks ago, about my eating disorder. I guess it must have hit him harder than I thought, if he carried it in his pocket everywhere. I handed it back to him and apologized.  
"I really am sorry, Remus. Really." When we saw that we were getting nowhere except that we had thoroughly confused everyone in our compartment except ourselves, we decided maybe we'd better drop the subject and both of us spoke at the same time.   
"How was your summer?" He said to me, but it was hard to understnad, because at the same time, I said,  
"Are you looking forward to your last year at Hogwarts?" I giggled and he chuckled boyishly, and we gave up on conversation and just decided maybe we'd better kiss instead, it would make better use of our mouths.  
  
A/N: No, htis is not the last part of the story, either. I'll tell you when it is!!!  
  
Peace, popcorn, and parentheses,  


*****Heather*  



	7. Proposal

*~Erin, Chapter 7~*  
  
  
After sitting (okay, so I was exactly just sitting, I was occupied with kissing Remus) through the sorting ceremony, I decided maybe I should listen to the announcements.   
"As you might know, we have all different prefects this year. Severus Snape is our new Slytherin prefect." He paused at this to allow for any applause there might be. I couldn't believe that Snape, the mangy, slimey 5th year that never washed his hair was a prefect. Oh well, it's not my house. The announcements continued. "Gryffindor's is Lily Evans." Another pause. This pleased me, Lily was James' girlfriend, and all of Remus' friends were now mine (except Peter). "Hufflepuff's is Amos Diggory." Another pause, and lots of applause from girls everwhere. Must be, like James, a good looking guy that's popular with the girls. I didn't pay attention, because I had Remus. "And last, but not least, Ravenclaw's new prefect is Henry Clearwater." I knew Henry a little bit, he was a perfect looking guy model. Basically, a male version of me, not to be conceited. Suspense filled me, I needed to know who would be head girl. I was pretty sure James would be head boy, he was so good at everything, very unlike a guy. "The head boy, not surprising, is James Potter." Cheering filled the room, and James bowed and bowed and hammed it all up like he won the Olympics or something. Being head boy is supposed to be a responsibilty... "And head girl is Karen Foley." He smiled and our table erupted in cheering, wwe were ecstatic that our Karen was head girl!  
"Congratulations, Karen, I knew you'd do it" I said and forced a smile. I was happy for my friend, but I wished I had been recognized as somoething other than just a pretty girl.  
  


*****  


  
After our final year of fun and fighting and everything else, it was time to say goodbye. The whole school (still into our relationship) was tense. I got asked if Remus had proposed to me about every half hour, and I finally locked myself in Remus' dorm because I couldn't stand it. Remus had not yet proposed, and I was wondering if he even would. I didn't know why he was stalling, he loved me, I loved him, all was well, and he seemed to be wealthy enough to support us. Or, at least, his parents were, and they could help us out if they needed to. Besides, once I was out of school I could model during the school year as well as summer, and earn enough money so that even if he didn't work we could live comfortably. And I knew that no matter what happened, as long as we were together, we would be happy.  
Remus burst through the door, hands behind his back. His cheeks were flushing, and he looked more adorable than ever. He looked excited, so much so that I couldn't believe he wasn't squirming. His mouth dropped open but he didn't say anything, then he closed it and made a face to show he was deep in thought. I couldn't help but think it was terribly funny. He suddenly started speaking, first very fast and hardly interpretable but then slower and smoother, and easier to understand.  
"Erin, I -- I need to -- I mean I -- you know I love you, and I, well, yeah, um...okay, let me compose myself. I love you, I love you more than anything, and I will always love you. I know you know that already, but I can imagine nothing better than to live with you as my companion as the rest of my life." He got down on his knee at this point and I almost fainted fromexcitement, but I wanted to hear the rest of this, it was sounding really good. "My dear Erin Finnigan, will you...be my wife?"  
  
A/N: I KNOW this is super super super short. I just had to end the chapter here, it sounded so perfect. IT IS NOT THE END OF THE FIC! Keep watching :-P  
  


*****Heather*


	8. Mommy

*~Erin, Chapter 8~*  
THE LAST CHAPTER  


  
"Oh Remus, yes! Yes! Of course! I will marry you! I love you, Remus!"   
Remus picked me up and swung me around the room. "Really, Erin?"  
"Of course!"  
  


*****  


  
The school was ecstatic at the news of our engagement. They were always nosing into our relationship, but I didn't mind much. As long as I had Remus, I was happy. And now we were going to get married, and I would always have him. Forever!  
  
*****  
  
"Remus, I have something important to tell you. _Privately_." Remus took my hand and we wandered off to his dormitory.  
"K, Erin, shoot." He said as he locked the door. I looked around to see if anyone was there, I didn't want anyone eavesdropping this time.  
"Remus, I'm, we're..." I lowered my voice to a soft whisper "...I'm pregnant." My stomache fell to the floor. At least I was almost out of school, and our wedding was in less than two months. It still felt so wrong, though. Even though I was in love with Remus, even though I knew it wouldn't break us apart, it still made my stomach churn to think about it. I couldn't believe it, and yet I had to tell him already. He hugged me closer to him.  
"It's okay, Erin. We'll do fine. I love you. I'm here for you." Somehow his words comforted me, though my life felt like a mess. I never thought of being pregnant, of modeling maternity robes instead of the usual cute teenage robes. I had worked so hard to lose all that weight and now I would gain so much, with a child in me.   
"Thank you. I love you, Remus."  
"Erin," He said, with a serious tone in his voice, "you are going to have to eat better. You can't starve the child. And you can't starve yourself, either. Magic or no magic, there is no cure for an eating disorder except to stop. I love you too much to lose you to some eating habits that you can't seem to get rid of." I looked into his face and my eyes filled with tears. He was right, I needed to stop. I needed to eat more, but I didn't want to. I felt so powerful when I skipped a meal or two, I didn't know if I could stop. I promised him I would try. I collapsed on his bed.  
"Oh, Remus. I haven't eaten since last night. I promise I'll start eating every meal starting tomorrow morning." I could no longer talk without choking on my tears.   
  


*****  


  
"No, you don't understand. I need to talk to you and Karen in private. I have to tell you both something extremely important!"  
"Okay, okay...but there aren't any private places in this castle at night."  
"Then we'll have to go outside!" I nearly shouted. Meghan suddenly realized it was very important, I think, because then she dashed off, and in five minutes she was back with her coat and Karen. I led them outside, hoping all the while we wouldn't be caught. I took them to a bench near the forbidden forest and sat between them. I gave them both serious looks and opened my mouth to speak. Finally I was able to speak.  
"Karen, Meghan..." My voice shook with fear. I gazed up at the gorgeous full moon and composed myself. I sighed and started again. "...I'm...going to have a baby." Meghan blinked, but Karen looked as if I'd said nothing. She's used to me telling her crazy things I've done, she's been hearing them for seven years, so this probably was not as big a surprise to her as it was to Meghan.  
"Pregnant?" Meghan asked in a timid voice. I nodded and tears began streaming down my face again. I was not even eighteen yet, and I was going to be a mother. I still had not eaten a thing today, and I was a little bit weak, and I'm not sure my brain was working quite right, plus the shock of being pregnant and telling three people in a day, I almost fell off the bench, but Karen caught me.  
"Erin, it's okay, it's okay," She soothed and embraced me in a warm hug, "you'll be a wonderful mother. Everything will be okay." I hugged Karen back.   
"Can I...take a walk? Just a short one to contemplate things." I almost giggled at Meghan using such a big word, but I just nodded.   
"So what are you going to name the child?"  
"I don't know. Didn't think about it yet."  
"Well, if it's a boy, you could name it...Lucius. Just kidding. Ha ha." I stared at her, wondering why she was trying to get me to laugh. Lucius still ranked highest on my list of people I hate. I thought about names, and remembered back to my fifth year, when I thought Remus was a cool name. Plus, it would be in honor of my husband, and that would be cool too. Remus was such a good name. But what if it was a girl?  
"Remus for a boy." I said plainly. Karen didn't look very surprised.  
"What if it's a girl?" She asked. I thought about this for a moment, then made up my mind.  
"How about first name Meghan, middle name Karen. Sorry Karen, but I like the name Meghan better. Nothing personal." She made an angry face at me, and at first I thought she was actually mad. Then, for some reason, we both burst into a fit of giggles. We didn't stop laughing until we heard a piercing scream that sounded strangely like Meghan. However scared being pregnant made me, this made me so much more frightened. What is she was killed? What if I couldn't find her? I sat up with a start.  
"Meghan." I whispered and grabbed Karen's hand before I set off running to find her. "Where is she?"  
"Maybe she got hit by the whomping willow."  
"Good idea, let's go check." We ran to the tremendous tree and looked around for Meghan, keeping our distance so we wouldn't get hit. I spotted Meghan lying on the ground, her clothes soaked in blood.  
"MEGHAN!" I screamed in agony. What had happened? A little rat scurried away toward the tree. Meghan had blood running out of her neck and her ankle. Karen and I silently picked her up and carried her to the castle. We were met by none othe than Severus Snape, but didn't have time to argue with him. He made some rude comments, but I wasn't listening. All I could think about was getting Meghan to the hospital wing. Up stairs, what seemed like thousands of stairs, around a corner, finally we were there. I banged loudly on the door.  
"Madam Pomfrey, Madam Pomfrey! Wake up! Please! My friend! I mean, Meghan! She's hurt! Help her! She's --" The door opened, and Madam Pomfrey blinked.  
"What? Huh? The what?" She seemed to be quite awake, though utterly confused. We just pushed passed her and laid Meghan on a bed.  
"Fix her! Make her better! Help her, she's bleeding and she's my second best friend and she's too young to die and --" I felt a hand go over my mouth. It was Karen's hand. Madam Pomfrey said it would be okay, it was just an animal bite, and she shooed us off.  
"Go to bed. She'll be well in the morning." We walked off toward our common room, but I couldn't help worrying about if Meghan was really going to be okay.   
  


*****  


  
"Yes, I'm fine, I'm just..." I was finally able to see Meghan after an entire night of worry. "...I'm a werewolf now."   
"You...you are? Oh! I'm so sorry Meghan!" She starting sobbing and so I did the only thing I could think of, that was to keep hugging her. After crying, hugging, and talking to Meghan, I decided to go see Remus.   
  


*****  


  
I walked into Remus' dormitory, only to find him asleep. They all were, James, Remus, Sirius, and Peter. I crawled into Remus' bed and patted him awake.  
"Remus? Wake up. It's about Meghan."  
"Huh?" I kissed him and he woke up fully. "What? What about Meghan?"   
"She got bit last night. By a werewolf. She's a werewolf now." Tears came down Remus face and he sat up.  
"I did it, Erin. I'm so sorry! I love you still! I hope you don't hate me, I'm a werewolf, I bit your friend, I didn't know. I didn't know what I was doing, Erin!" I looked into his face and wanted to scream in horror.   
"REMUS! I am not marrying a werewolf. You bit my best friend, now she's a werewolf! This is the end, good bye, Remus. Good BYE!" I walked out of his dormitory and back to mine. I lay in bed, crying, shaking, horrified. I had been dating a werewolf for two years, and he is the father of my child. A werewolf, we made my best friend a werewolf. I imagined all the pain she would go through every time she transformed. I was horrified. How could he have kept it from me so long? Would he never have told me? I never wanted to see him again, I was too hurt, I felt like he had lied to me. I took the stupid engagement ring off my finger and unclasped the necklace from around my neck. I dropped then both and cried myself to sleep.  
  


*****  


  
"So you're just going to forget about him? Forever? And pretend you never knew him? But what about your baby?"   
"Meghan, he lied to me. He bit you. Becoming a werewolf is not a picnic, Meghan. You'll go through excruciating pain every time you transform. I know you haven't learned about it yet, but by the time you get to, you won't need to, because you'll already know. I don't want you to go through this. Why didn't he tell me? He never told me he was a werewolf, that's like lying! I can't marry someone who's a werewolf, someone who lied to me! I can't marry him, I hate him! And my child will be named a nice Irish name if it's a boy, and he will have my last name, and he will never know that he is Remus' son. And if it's a girl, it will be Meghan Finnigan, and she will never know who's daughter she is. I just can't handle him! Why did he do this?" Erin hugged me and packed my stuff for me, because it didn't look like I was going to, I guess. I didn't care that we only had three hours to pack before he left Hogwarts. I didn't care that I would not be coming back here. I didn't care about anything, or at least I pretended I didn't. Remus lied to me, that's all I could think about.  
  


*****  
  
Approximately 8 years later  
  
*****  


  
"Mommy? Penelope said she's a Pureblood. She asked me what I am. What is pureblood, and what am I? Am I pureblood?"  
"Pureblood means she has a witch for a mom and a wizard for a dad. You can be a muggle and still be magic, that's called muggle-born. And when you have one muggle parent and the other parent is either a witch or a wizard, then you're half-blood. That's what you are."  
"Oh. My daddy was a muggle?"  
"Yes, he was a horrid muggle, that's why you don't have his last name. That's why I gave you my last name instead, because I hated him at the time you were born.  
"Do you hate him now?" A lump formed in my throat at this question. Truthfully, I did love him still, but I could never face him again. Maybe I had made a mistake in breaking up with him, that day when I was almost 18, but then again, maybe not.  
"Mommy? Are you okay?"  
"Oh...uh...go play quidditch or something, Re -- Seamus. I'm fine." I turned my head away and let the tears flow. Why had I let him go?  
  
A/N: Okay, now you can kill me, whip me, eat me, and cry at me. This was where the story was going in the first place. Sorry! I had this part planned from the beginning, maybe even before I started writing the first chapter. I disn't know you would all get so into it! Anyway, please review even if you haven't before. I need to hear all the sobbing and stuff. Yeah.  
  
Peace (we'll need it), parentheses, and popcorn,  
  


*****Heather*


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